Despite collecting a pretty exhaustive database, I've found no up-close depictions of President George W. Bush in any of the high-profile Imperishable Series novels. By contrast, Clinton appears in several, and Obama appears in two. Bush, it seems, was relegated to a handful of mocking poems and this one imaginative short story by a low-ranked writer who specializes in sci-fi (the same author would go on to write An Ordinary Day and Dignity). This was published in Chongnyon Munhak, the Party's literary magazine for emerging writers, indicating the author was less experienced than the typical Chosŏn Munhak writer and likely had less access to foreign reference materials – and it shows.The story features fanciful depictions of a dysfunctional First Family, NSA Condoleezza Rice leading a helicopter attack squadron in full combat gear, a chaotic proceeding before the US Supreme Court, and an alternate-reality Dick Cheney who willingly declines power.
The Plot
The story opens with Bush at his lakeside retreat, getting an unexpected early-morning visit from his daughter Jenna. They banter playfully, and he guesses (accurately) that she wants money. They chat via video call with Laura Bush, who is in Mexico City viewing a beauty pageant; Bush teases that she should enter the competition: "If you wear a bikini, I bet you'll win first prize."
They are interrupted by Special Advisor Rice (특별보좌관 라이스), who says she has urgent business. Bush gives his daughter $20,000 (via "internet money transfer"), and Jenna flounces off, delighted.
Reading the note, Bush suddenly looks thoughtful – arousing Rice's suspicions. "Bush's eyes, which always looked gloomy or dull, now had the look of a gambler at a card table or a bank robber opening a safe full of cash. When she looked again, it was just his normal face, void of any sense of intelligence."
Even more suspiciously, he tells her that the intruders are "part of a mafia group connected to Al Qaeda" and that they’re "targeting the hardliners who have declared war on terrorism," including himself. Without revealing where he got the information, he tells her that this mafia has a secret base at an isolated villa in the Rocky Mountains and orders her to "personally command the FBI and the Defense Department Special Forces" to "wipe them out mercilessly."
Two days later, Rice comes to report to Bush at the White House, fresh from the assault and still in her combat gear. Bush is eager for video confirmation that the compound has been destroyed. We get a birds-eye view of the attack on the compound, which has a lot of satisfying explosions and automatic weapons fire. Toward the end, there is a brief glimpse of two special forces soldiers supporting a limping man covered in blood.
“Wait, who is that?” Bush froze the screen and demanded, looking anxious.“That’s a man who’d been kidnapped. Luckily he was confined in the basement of the villa, so he survived, but he suffered severe injuries, memory loss, and speech paralysis. We haven't even determined his name and address yet.”“Shut up,” Bush suddenly snapped. Startled, Rice jumped up from her chair. Bush's profanity kicked up a notch. [...] “How many times must I repeat it before you understand? These terrorists are targeting American politicians. However, no one from the White House or Congress has yet been kidnapped. So that man must be a terrorist. Where is he now?”Rice could not hide her surprise when Bush's speech showed a glimmer of logic, however faint. When was the president ever so wise? In a crisis, does a dimwit suddenly sprout intelligence?
Despite her suspicions, Rice promises to take care of it. Half an hour later, she returns with the disquieting news that the man apparently fled from a "charity hospital" where he'd been taken for treatment. The doctors believed he was mentally unstable. Bush appears upset at this news and orders that the man be found immediately and "shot on sight, whether he is out of his mind or not."
Hoping to cheer him up, Rice hands him a letter that just arrived for him, "from a college classmate, I think." Bush waits until she leaves before tearing it open:
“Paul, you know what betrayal means in our organization. Death will visit you within a few days. Understand that evading it is futile! Jefferson.”His face darkened as he read the lines.Paul was the real name of the man who was now pretending to be president. Jefferson was a senior researcher at the Carnegie Endowment and a leading member of the mafia.(So, Jefferson still lives? Oh, right, there were only 8 bodies found. So, two are still alive. Ah, I forgot how cunning Jefferson is…)The fake Bush/Paul tore at his hair with both hands...
The story shifts to the Washington DC suburbs, where a lonely policeman is nodding off at his station, daydreaming of winning the lottery and traveling to see the world. His daydreams are interrupted when a weak, disheveled figure lumbers into the doorway and stutters, "I... am… Pre-si-dent... Bush..." Squinting, the cop recognizes his face from "a promotional photo" that was posted in town a few years ago during the presidential election (because really, how else would a random American know what their president looks like?). Before losing consciousness, this Bush just manages to explain "The man pretending to be president is a mafia member named Paul."
The last act takes place at the US Supreme Court [미련방최고재판소], where "an unprecedented trial was taking place to determine who was the real President of the United States." The trial is presided over by a single "chief of court" [재판소장]. The chief is anxious not to screw this up, because he knows the whole country is watching, and "As a father with five daughters all past the age of marriage, he was concerned that a mistake at this trial could leave him humiliated and unemployed." If only Supreme Court justices could be dismissed so easily...
Two identical Bushes sit in the dock. In the witness stand are five people: First Lady Laura Bush, her twin daughters "Jenna and Bamara," Condoleezza Rice, and the suburban policeman who discovered the other Bush.
The cop looks bewildered and terrified. Before the prosecutor can finish reading the indictment, he flees the courtroom, declaring: "I won’t say anything. I don’t know which of these bums– I mean, which of these men is the real president, and it doesn't matter to me. There is nothing to be gained for me here. America is the land of freedom, so I’m free to testify or not. Anyway, I feel dirty for getting involved in this messy game. Ahh- [spits]."
The trial proceeds, but the witnesses will only give vague and noncommittal answers. Meanwhile, the two Bushes keep shouting profanities, each insisting that he is "the real Bush." This is getting nowhere, so the chief justice changes strategies. He instructs each of the witnesses to try asking questions only the real Bush would know.
Rice tries first:
“Mr. President, where did we first meet?”“I don’t know,” answered the Bush on the right. “Wasn’t it a brothel?” followed the Bush on the left.Laughter erupted from the audience.Rice, her face red, pursed her lips and sat down. Now the president's eldest daughter, Jenna, stood up confidently.“Father, what do your daughters love most?”“Alcohol and money,” the two Bushes answered simultaneously, as if they had planned it.“Then, what about Mom?” asked younger sister Bamara, not giving anyone a chance to react.“Men,” both Bushes again answered in unison. Loud laughter erupted in the hall.
Then a random person from the audience stands up, introduces himself as "Dr. Arthur of XXX Biological Research Institute" and suggests that they "conduct genetic tests comparing the blood of two indictees with that of the president’s twin daughters, Miss Jenna and Miss Bamara. Then we will be able to find out who the real President Bush is."
Luckily for her, at this point the Bush on the left interrupts: "Wait. There’s no need for that." He tells the astonished court, "Neither of us is President Bush. My name is Jefferson, and his name is Paul." The whole court listens in stunned silence to his tale.
"You will all be wondering how the two of us have the same face as President Bush. But these are not our real faces. Paul had facial surgery a few months ago in order to kidnap the President and set him up in his place. And I got a muscular injection a few days ago to change my face."The reason I sought to become President Bush, knowing of this plot, was to expose the identity of Paul, after he betrayed and brutally murdered his comrades. How ridiculous is it, that this mere pimp who owns a brothel in New York should pretend to be president? Of course, in the United States, there is no law that says a brothel owner cannot become president." In Jefferson's last words there was a note of sadness.The chief of court, finally regaining his senses, asked: “Then where is the real President Bush?”“Advisor Rice will know more about that. He was admitted to a charity hospital,” said Paul, who had been holding his peace until now.Rice gaped wide-eyed, seemingly forgetting the very tense atmosphere in the courtroom. After a moment, her clever mind began moving properly again, and she hastily apologized. “I really didn’t know. During the military attack on the mafia, one man was rescued; I guess that must have been President Bush. At that time, the president's face looked different, either damaged in the attack or altered by some drug. Also, a severe concussion had caused him to lose his memory and paralyzed his speech functions, making it impossible to identify him. But anyway, even if that man is the real president, I don't know where he is now. He ran away from the charity hospital. The doctors reported he did not appear in his right mind.”
The story ends with a plaintive scene:
Right as this NSC meeting was taking place, a charity organization was providing free meals to the poor in the park before the main gate of the White House.Among the rows of unemployed and homeless, there was a man with the slack-jawed look of a mental patient. After an hour of waiting, the man finally took an empty bowl and approached the cook.Perhaps because his speech was paralyzed, the man just grinned appealingly at the cook who served the porridge. The server, observing his pitiful appearance, served him a second ladleful. This was quite special “consideration.” Thanks to the massive military spending recently approved by the president, even the watery soup distributed by charity organizations had to be greatly reduced.The man was so sad that he hung his head. The man had suffered amnesia, and until a few days ago he did not even know that he could have done something good for the unemployed and homeless people gathered here. This man was the real Bush. Bush, the President of the United States, who was abandoned by everyone in the world...
Mafia
The bad guys behind the abduction plot are repeatedly described as "mafia" [마피아조직], but this does not seem to refer to the American mafia. Rather, it is implied that their organization is based somewhere in the Middle East. Bizarrely, they are in league with the Carnegie Endowment [카네기기금], where Jefferson is a senior fellow. (The Carnegie Endowment was also randomly implicated in the secret plot in Raise Your Bayonets with the CIA and candidate Bob Dole, but there it was misspelled 카네디기금).
In his dramatic courtroom confession, Jefferson reveals that the head of their organization, a man named "Kent," is Middle-Eastern, as is Paul. At first I suspected this was intended to depict some Israeli agency, possibly the Mossad. Antisemitic conspiracy theories sometimes find their way into North Korean novels.
But then Jefferson clarifies that Kent's real name is Muhammed al-Hid. Asked if their group has ties to Al Qaeda, Jefferson says he does not know, but "cannot rule out the possibility." Jefferson himself is unsure of the true objective of the kidnapping plot, but he theorizes that as a Middle Easterner, Kent would have wanted to reverse "the hard-line, high-pressure stance of President Bush and other politicians toward the Islamic world."
This is the only mention of North Korea in the story, and it raises more questions than answers about the intended message of this tale. Other KWU novels have consistently pushed the notion that the US wars in the Middle East were always intended as a sly way to justify military buildup and move troops and hardware into place for an ultimate end-goal of invading North Korea. This story, admittedly by a much lower-ranked author, suggests instead that Bush's invasion of Iraq actually diverted resources away from North Korea, and then it was up to these mysterious Middle-Easterners to steer the focus of US defense strategy back onto North Korea.
Condoleezza Rice herself is no dove, but she vehemently opposes this shift, thinking: "North Korea was different from Iraq. A misstep with North Korea would not just seal the president's fate, but could spell the end of the entire US. Were it not so, Rice herself, the advocate of the 'strong policy,' would not have approved those documents..."
Condoleezza Rice
Bush's National Security Advisor has many entertaining scenes. She seems to act as a power-behind-the-throne and sometimes baby-sitter to the infantile President Bush, "overflowing with pride in herself as the real power of that great nation called the United States and always ridiculing Bush’s low intellect." She is repeatedly described as a "nyŏgŏl" which is an old Korean term for a female warrior.
Privately in their Oval Office meeting, the president compliments her, "People wonder why my special adviser is a woman, but in reality, Rice, you are a nyŏgŏl who handles 80% – no, all – of my presidential work."
When the false Bush makes some uncharacteristically clever repartee, his wife Laura teases, "Who knew that our President has such an extraordinary sense of humor? I thought you were this great statesman who couldn't say one proper word without Rice."
The text oddly identifies Rice as "혼혈" (mixed-race) rather than black. Physically she is depicted as having a military bearing and "thick, utterly unfeminine lips." When she comes straight from the attack on the Colorado compound, still in her special forces uniform, the false Bush compliments her: "Rice, military garb suits you."
North Korea has no equivalent of a civilian national security official. They would perhaps thinks of this as equivalent to their Minister of State Security (보위부, the "secret police"), who is always a high-ranking military officer and always appears in uniform with a chest full of medals.
 |
| Former Minister of State Security Kim Won Hong, who was dismissed in Feb 2017 (src: KCNA/Reuters) |
First Family
North Korean media must have covered some of the more tabloid-esque stories of the Bush era; the story mentions Jenna Bush's underaged drinking scandal and the time President Bush passed out choking on a "beer cracker." But some things have apparently been lost in translation; for instance, Jenna's sister Barbara's name is repeatedly mis-rendered in Korean as "Bamara" [바마라].
Korean language runs into a problem when dealing with twins, because relative age matters in deciding which terms to use. There's no good word for just "sister" independent of age. Usually the one born first will be referred to as "elder sister" and "eldest daughter," etc. In this story, the author seems to have decided that Jenna was born first, but I'm not sure if that is accurate.
Laura Bush is for some reason depicted as a man-hungry bimbo. She preens when W. suggests she enter the Mexican beauty contest. At the trial, she panics at talk of using DNA samples, suspecting her twins might have had a different father.
For various selfish reasons, the Bush women are not particularly motivated to identify the real Bush at trial. The twins just hope that "the generous man who had given them so much money at the presidential villa" will be their father from now on. Laura just hopes to avoid "criticism that she couldn't even recognize her husband."
We have seen First Daughters depicted as spoiled princesses before. This seems to be part of the general directive to emasculate and humble the US president, by showing that even his own family has little respect for him beyond the money and glamour his position provides. The depiction of a First Lady as a woman of loose morals is a new one, at least to my knowledge. It is more likely to be a product of this particular author's sense of humor than any top-down directive.
